Do you ever have those days where you see someone and you know their twin. Okay, maybe not literally. Let me tell you what I’m talking about.
The other day, there was a gal at work who had a beef about something, and she came back ranting and raving. Okay, that may be a slight exaggeration, but I looked at her and was seriously terrified. Not because of what she was saying or doing, but because I have seen that behavior so many times before in someone else! Someone I know VERY well.
I’ve worked with this gal for quite a while and never thought she reminded me of anyone before. She’s a very easy going, lighthearted woman. (That’s not to say that I don’t know anyone else who is lighthearted and easy going. I’m just letting you know that I wouldn’t have guessed this behavior out of her.)
Her behavior wasn’t violent or even rude. It was mostly even workplace appropriate. It just reminded me so much of someone else that now I have a hard time looking at her and not seeing this other person. Maybe it was her hand motions, or the way her voice escalated and became short of breath, or the way her cheeks became splotchy. But that day, I was seriously traumatized.
So naturally, my head begins to spin with thoughts and conclusions as to why this is. And while my husband is the psychology major and has his master’s in counseling, I know only what I’ve observed from watching him, listening to him, and watching and analyzing other people.
So here is the unscientific, non-theory based, explanation of Rachel Rager.
Why was I so traumatized by this woman I work with simply because she reminded me of someone I know?
I think it may have been because I was tired so I relaxed my guard and she was able to penetrate my senses, triggering something in my brain that brought up old memories. And obviously those memories aren’t good. I think this probably happens more than we realize. Some of us may call it deja vu; although, that is sometimes considered something else entirely. And sometimes I think we get those feelings like something is familiar, or a positive or negative feeling regarding something and we simply can’t name it. But then there are those rare instances where we can.
Now I wonder which is worse….
Monday, February 27, 2012
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Wednesday Romance
Sorry this is late. The long weekend threw me off.
Chapter 19
I planned to avoid Wes the rest of the day, but it turned out that my avoidances were unnecessary because he seemed to have disappeared. At first I avoided my usual routes, but when Stacie asked about him several hours later, I knew that he disappeared. I could only pray that he hadn’t disappeared for good. A hole grew in my heart and seemed to swallow me whole. My breathing came in short sporadic breaths, my attention following suit.
In Wes’s absence, Vernaun appeared to be stepping up his game. He followed me around with more dedication than my shadow. However, the only thing his presence did was remind me of Wes’s absence.
Just before he left into town for the movie with his friends, he pulled me off behind his cabin. “Are you sure you won’t go with me, Andy?”
I smiled. “I thought you were taking Ashley with you.”
“She’s just a body in the jeep so I don’t feel like such a big looser. I’d much rather go with you.” He leaned down and kissed me. “Just say yes and I’ll tell her I’m not taking her.”
“That’s hardly fair to here.”
He shrugged.
“Look, Vernaun, I’ve had a great couple weeks with you. I don’t know how I ever gained your attention, but I’m glad you finally saw me.”
He beamed and brushed his hand over my cheek. The lack of sparks that issued from his fingers on my skin – no matter how fairytale-esc that sounds – confirmed my feelings for Wes.
“I’m sorry, but I can’t continue dating you.”
He stepped back, but did not release me. “You’re breaking up with me?”
I looked down at the ground, not knowing what else to say.
“You’re in love with Wes, aren’t you?”
My head shot up and I stared at him with wide eyes. “He’s my best friend,” I stammered.
“He clearly is in love with you.” He shook his head and I hoped he would tell me that Wes was a lucky guy. But he didn’t. “If you were so in love with him, why did you date me?”
“Because I didn’t know I was in love with him until just the other day.”
“But you let me follow you around this hell hole without saying a word to me. No wonder Wes has been looking at me with a smirk all week. Is that why he’s suddenly disappeared now? He knew you were going to break up with me so he’s giving us space?”
“No.” My head shook relentlessly from side to side. “He doesn’t know how I feel about him.”
“Of course he does. The only one dumb enough to believe that is you.”
I fell back a step, feeling the emotional blow he dealt me. I could feel my confident self wanting to retreat under a rock. “I haven’t told him.”
He threw his head back and laughed. “You don’t have to. It’s written plainly on your face.”
I inhaled deeply. I would not allow him to push me around. “If you knew my feelings for him, why did you stick around?”
A strange predatory smile spread across his face as he stepped forward. It was almost a leer, and I forced myself to remain still. “It’s all in the hunt. There is something very attractive and stimulating about an unavailable woman.”
“But I wasn’t unavailable.”
“Yes you were. Why do you think no one has ever asked you out before?”
“Because I’ve always been invisible?”
“Because the first summer you were here it was more than obvious to everyone that you belonged to Wes.”
For a moment, I froze; the blood froze in my veins, my heart ceased its pumping. The thought that everyone had thought, for years, that I belonged to Wes was unbelievable. Yet, random memories began to piece themselves together and I slowly began to see that perhaps what he said was true.
“So, you’re saying that no dated me because I was always with Wes. But you decided that after several years that made me attractive?”
“You do know that Wes would never have made any advances toward you if it wasn’t for me.”
“Are you saying you were trying to help Wes out?”
He snorted. “No. When I realized who you were and what you were capable of, I wanted you for myself. I knew Wes would put up a fight, and he did, but that made the adventure even more enjoyable.”
I nodded slowly, trying to absorb what he was telling me. “You would have never pursued a future with me, though. You were just in it for a good time. A summer fling.”
“Of course. I have no desire to settle down right now. I have years before I’m ready for that.”
I peered at him, curious as to how he was really feeling about the entire situation. He had gone from loving to upset, from angry to resigned in a matter of minutes. I had no idea where he stood. Not having any idea how to respond to him or what to say next, I nodded my head once, and turned.
“You don’t think I’ll really allow Wes to win so easily, do you?”
I turned to look at him. I had once viewed him as the best looking guy I’d ever seen. Now, I saw just a regular guy, looking both defeated and defiant. “He didn’t win. I did.” I smiled and turned, allowing him to retreat to his friends on his own time.
I allowed my feet to carry me around the camp in a wandering manner for a time. As the sun sank, I realized I needed to retreat to my cabin and find a flashlight before I continued these pursuits. Lost in my confrontation and confession to Vernaun, I only briefly registered that I had still not seen Wes since he proposed to me earlier that afternoon.
I sighed. He had caught me so off guard that I had panicked and fled. His absence told me that he taken the rejection hard. In an effort to explain things to him, as I entered the camp, I walked over to his cabin and knocked on the door. Receiving no answer, I looked around and then opened the door. The cabin was empty.
Knowing Wes as long as I did, I wracked my brain trying to decide where he would have gone. If he was avoiding me, he wouldn’t have gone to the booth, or any of our normal haunts. Then it occurred to me. He would have retreated to the hill behind his cabin.
I rounded the cabin and headed up the hill. When I could see through the trees enough to see the top of the hill, I saw him laying on his back staring up at the darkened sky. I had a sneaky suspicion he had spent many hours on that hill.
The light from the moon illuminated his shape though I couldn’t see him well. I stopped, suddenly uncertain how to approach. After my earlier retreat, I didn’t know what to say. “I’m sorry I freaked out on you. I really do want to marry you. But could we wait to say anything to our parents for a little while? We both know mine are going to freak.”
I sighed. I needed to come up with a little more finesse than that. My parents might be shocked, but they’d be supportive. I was the one who needed to become used to the idea. I just didn’t want to lose him in the process.
A night breeze sang softly through the trees, playing with the stray hairs of my pony tale. I stood there for a long time watching him, too terrified to approach yet not willing to retreat. When I felt something scuttle across my foot, I jumped and decided it was time to move. Rather than give away my position within the trees, I turned and walked quietly down the hill and back to my cabin.
~ * ~
Stacie burst into the booth the next morning, out of breath and a bit wheezy. “He’s gone!”
I looked over my notes, not bothering to look up. “What are you talking about?”
“Just what I said. He’s gone. He didn’t leave a note or anything. He’s just gone!”
Panic seized my heart. Wes was gone? He must have left sometime during the night. I concentrated on breathing in and out, slowly so I wouldn’t pass out. I forced my mind to process the information and tried to think of something intelligent to say. The last thing I needed was everyone believing my world would collapse if I lost Wes, even though the prospect of that rang very true.
“When did you discover he was gone?”
“Only this morning. Meghan has been making the rounds asking if anyone knows anything about it. Apparently Courtney is gone too.”
“Courtney?” My heart wrung itself into knots thinking about that he had run off with someone else. Had he lied to me about his love for me? I folded in half as my stomach heaved and threatened to lose its contents.
“Are you okay?”
I felt Stacie’s comforting hand on my back, gently rubbing back and forth in a comforting way. I forced myself to take deep breaths, willing myself not to get sick. The tension in my muscles eased some, but my heartache pulsed through my body like a tidal wave hitting me repeatedly. As the tension began to lessen, I slowly sat up, only to bolt for the door and empty the content of my stomach onto a nearby bush.
After a few minutes, I slowly walked into the booth, wiping my hand across my mouth, and sank into my chair. “I didn’t even think he liked Courtney.” I shook my head in a daze.
“Oh, come on. He’s never been able to stay with anyone long. This is no reflection on you.”
I looked up, confused by what she was saying.
“Besides,” she continued, “I didn’t realize you liked him quite so much. I thought you were finally starting to realize you liked Wes.”
I sat staring at her for a moment, my heart thumping madly. “Stacie, who left camp? Wes or Vernaun?”
She snorted. “Vernaun, you silly goose. Why would Wes leave?”
A breath of air rushed out of my lungs. Wes hadn’t left after all. He was off leading a hike somewhere or teaching knots to a group of campers, not driving off in the camps’ jeep with a little blond tramp named Courtney.
“Why didn’t you tell me that at the beginning?”
Stacie looked from side to side, apparently startled by my suddenly confrontational manner. “I thought it would be obvious. And as you are dating him, I thought you’d like to know.”
I dropped my hands in my face. “I could care less about what he did. I thought you meant Wes had left.”
“You did? Why?”
“Ugh!”
“I think I missed something. You aren’t dating Vernaun?”
“No.”
“Have you told Wes how you feel?”
I shook my head, feeling increasingly miserable.
Stacie sighed, and I could see how the knowledge weighed on her. “I think you’d better tell me exactly what’s been going on these last couple weeks.”
~ * ~
I didn’t see Wes for most of the day. A time or two, I saw him and started walking over to him only to watch him turn and retreat the other way. Puzzled, I decided not to follow and allow him space.
I finally met up with him after dinner. I was walking with Stacie to campfire when he and Zack joined us. At first Wes wouldn’t even look at me as he shuffled along with his hands in his pockets. He reminded me of a lost puppy just trying to fit in with the neighborhood dogs. Was this due to my rejection yesterday or something else?
Stacie and Zack attempted to cover the tension hovering around us with conversation, but to me nothing could dispel the twisting and tightening of my gut. I looked at the ground, trying not to look at him. Once I did glance over, but he was observing his shoes, and I quickly looked away.
At one point Stacie and Zack tried to include me and Wes in the conversation. Wes grunted, and I wasn’t paying close enough attention to even know how to respond so I remained silent.
We sat in our usual spot for campfire, and I realized I hadn’t sat here with my friends for quite a while. As the evening progressed, I thought back on some of the other campfires I’d been to over the years. They were many; some with fond memories, some faded into the fabric of my summers. I had never led a campfire – not that I’d ever wanted to – but as I sat there I wondered if I would have enjoyed it I’d tried. I didn’t particularly enjoy attention, but I wouldn’t have had all the attention as I would have shared it with another camp leader. If I had shared the spot light with Wes or Stacie, could I have enjoyed it once or twice?
The tension gradually ebbed out of my body, and I wrapped my arms around my knees and rested my chin top. A couple of the camp leaders danced around the fire, mimicking some story, a couple of the campers joined in, and everyone laughed. I sighed and looked up as Zack pulled Stacie up by the hand and they joined the others.
My back stiffened as the tension immediately returned. I didn’t glance at Wes but I could feel him a couple feet away. I knew he wasn’t looking at me, but I was certain that he was equally as aware of me. The air between us seemed to pulse with friction.
Minutes later – though it felt more like hours – Zack and Stacie returned. I relaxed a bit until Wes stood and padded off into the trees. Like a magnet whose polarity had changed, I couldn’t help but look over my shoulder and follow him with my gaze.
Stacie nudged me and jerked her head in his direction.
I shook my head fiercely.
Zack leaned forward. “You’d better go talk to him now. He’s not planning to keep contact once camp’s over?”
My breath caught in my throat. “What do you mean?”
“Just that. You haven’t talked to him all day.”
“Of course I haven’t. He’s deliberately avoided me.”
Zack shrugged. “He feels you’ve made your decision.”
My voice rose with my growing hysteria. “My decision? You mean he thinks that because I haven’t talked to him today – because he’s been avoiding me – I have chosen Vernaun and my heart is broken now because he’s gone?”
My breathing was heavy, and I didn’t notice the hush that seemed to have fallen over the campers as everyone stared in our direction. Stacie’s shifty eyes alerted me to the silence. I stood and turned to face the group, feeling everyone’s attention on me. “What? Haven’t any of you ever had your heart broken?”
Several pairs of eyes lowered. I took a deep breath and followed Wes through the trees.
Chapter 19
I planned to avoid Wes the rest of the day, but it turned out that my avoidances were unnecessary because he seemed to have disappeared. At first I avoided my usual routes, but when Stacie asked about him several hours later, I knew that he disappeared. I could only pray that he hadn’t disappeared for good. A hole grew in my heart and seemed to swallow me whole. My breathing came in short sporadic breaths, my attention following suit.
In Wes’s absence, Vernaun appeared to be stepping up his game. He followed me around with more dedication than my shadow. However, the only thing his presence did was remind me of Wes’s absence.
Just before he left into town for the movie with his friends, he pulled me off behind his cabin. “Are you sure you won’t go with me, Andy?”
I smiled. “I thought you were taking Ashley with you.”
“She’s just a body in the jeep so I don’t feel like such a big looser. I’d much rather go with you.” He leaned down and kissed me. “Just say yes and I’ll tell her I’m not taking her.”
“That’s hardly fair to here.”
He shrugged.
“Look, Vernaun, I’ve had a great couple weeks with you. I don’t know how I ever gained your attention, but I’m glad you finally saw me.”
He beamed and brushed his hand over my cheek. The lack of sparks that issued from his fingers on my skin – no matter how fairytale-esc that sounds – confirmed my feelings for Wes.
“I’m sorry, but I can’t continue dating you.”
He stepped back, but did not release me. “You’re breaking up with me?”
I looked down at the ground, not knowing what else to say.
“You’re in love with Wes, aren’t you?”
My head shot up and I stared at him with wide eyes. “He’s my best friend,” I stammered.
“He clearly is in love with you.” He shook his head and I hoped he would tell me that Wes was a lucky guy. But he didn’t. “If you were so in love with him, why did you date me?”
“Because I didn’t know I was in love with him until just the other day.”
“But you let me follow you around this hell hole without saying a word to me. No wonder Wes has been looking at me with a smirk all week. Is that why he’s suddenly disappeared now? He knew you were going to break up with me so he’s giving us space?”
“No.” My head shook relentlessly from side to side. “He doesn’t know how I feel about him.”
“Of course he does. The only one dumb enough to believe that is you.”
I fell back a step, feeling the emotional blow he dealt me. I could feel my confident self wanting to retreat under a rock. “I haven’t told him.”
He threw his head back and laughed. “You don’t have to. It’s written plainly on your face.”
I inhaled deeply. I would not allow him to push me around. “If you knew my feelings for him, why did you stick around?”
A strange predatory smile spread across his face as he stepped forward. It was almost a leer, and I forced myself to remain still. “It’s all in the hunt. There is something very attractive and stimulating about an unavailable woman.”
“But I wasn’t unavailable.”
“Yes you were. Why do you think no one has ever asked you out before?”
“Because I’ve always been invisible?”
“Because the first summer you were here it was more than obvious to everyone that you belonged to Wes.”
For a moment, I froze; the blood froze in my veins, my heart ceased its pumping. The thought that everyone had thought, for years, that I belonged to Wes was unbelievable. Yet, random memories began to piece themselves together and I slowly began to see that perhaps what he said was true.
“So, you’re saying that no dated me because I was always with Wes. But you decided that after several years that made me attractive?”
“You do know that Wes would never have made any advances toward you if it wasn’t for me.”
“Are you saying you were trying to help Wes out?”
He snorted. “No. When I realized who you were and what you were capable of, I wanted you for myself. I knew Wes would put up a fight, and he did, but that made the adventure even more enjoyable.”
I nodded slowly, trying to absorb what he was telling me. “You would have never pursued a future with me, though. You were just in it for a good time. A summer fling.”
“Of course. I have no desire to settle down right now. I have years before I’m ready for that.”
I peered at him, curious as to how he was really feeling about the entire situation. He had gone from loving to upset, from angry to resigned in a matter of minutes. I had no idea where he stood. Not having any idea how to respond to him or what to say next, I nodded my head once, and turned.
“You don’t think I’ll really allow Wes to win so easily, do you?”
I turned to look at him. I had once viewed him as the best looking guy I’d ever seen. Now, I saw just a regular guy, looking both defeated and defiant. “He didn’t win. I did.” I smiled and turned, allowing him to retreat to his friends on his own time.
I allowed my feet to carry me around the camp in a wandering manner for a time. As the sun sank, I realized I needed to retreat to my cabin and find a flashlight before I continued these pursuits. Lost in my confrontation and confession to Vernaun, I only briefly registered that I had still not seen Wes since he proposed to me earlier that afternoon.
I sighed. He had caught me so off guard that I had panicked and fled. His absence told me that he taken the rejection hard. In an effort to explain things to him, as I entered the camp, I walked over to his cabin and knocked on the door. Receiving no answer, I looked around and then opened the door. The cabin was empty.
Knowing Wes as long as I did, I wracked my brain trying to decide where he would have gone. If he was avoiding me, he wouldn’t have gone to the booth, or any of our normal haunts. Then it occurred to me. He would have retreated to the hill behind his cabin.
I rounded the cabin and headed up the hill. When I could see through the trees enough to see the top of the hill, I saw him laying on his back staring up at the darkened sky. I had a sneaky suspicion he had spent many hours on that hill.
The light from the moon illuminated his shape though I couldn’t see him well. I stopped, suddenly uncertain how to approach. After my earlier retreat, I didn’t know what to say. “I’m sorry I freaked out on you. I really do want to marry you. But could we wait to say anything to our parents for a little while? We both know mine are going to freak.”
I sighed. I needed to come up with a little more finesse than that. My parents might be shocked, but they’d be supportive. I was the one who needed to become used to the idea. I just didn’t want to lose him in the process.
A night breeze sang softly through the trees, playing with the stray hairs of my pony tale. I stood there for a long time watching him, too terrified to approach yet not willing to retreat. When I felt something scuttle across my foot, I jumped and decided it was time to move. Rather than give away my position within the trees, I turned and walked quietly down the hill and back to my cabin.
~ * ~
Stacie burst into the booth the next morning, out of breath and a bit wheezy. “He’s gone!”
I looked over my notes, not bothering to look up. “What are you talking about?”
“Just what I said. He’s gone. He didn’t leave a note or anything. He’s just gone!”
Panic seized my heart. Wes was gone? He must have left sometime during the night. I concentrated on breathing in and out, slowly so I wouldn’t pass out. I forced my mind to process the information and tried to think of something intelligent to say. The last thing I needed was everyone believing my world would collapse if I lost Wes, even though the prospect of that rang very true.
“When did you discover he was gone?”
“Only this morning. Meghan has been making the rounds asking if anyone knows anything about it. Apparently Courtney is gone too.”
“Courtney?” My heart wrung itself into knots thinking about that he had run off with someone else. Had he lied to me about his love for me? I folded in half as my stomach heaved and threatened to lose its contents.
“Are you okay?”
I felt Stacie’s comforting hand on my back, gently rubbing back and forth in a comforting way. I forced myself to take deep breaths, willing myself not to get sick. The tension in my muscles eased some, but my heartache pulsed through my body like a tidal wave hitting me repeatedly. As the tension began to lessen, I slowly sat up, only to bolt for the door and empty the content of my stomach onto a nearby bush.
After a few minutes, I slowly walked into the booth, wiping my hand across my mouth, and sank into my chair. “I didn’t even think he liked Courtney.” I shook my head in a daze.
“Oh, come on. He’s never been able to stay with anyone long. This is no reflection on you.”
I looked up, confused by what she was saying.
“Besides,” she continued, “I didn’t realize you liked him quite so much. I thought you were finally starting to realize you liked Wes.”
I sat staring at her for a moment, my heart thumping madly. “Stacie, who left camp? Wes or Vernaun?”
She snorted. “Vernaun, you silly goose. Why would Wes leave?”
A breath of air rushed out of my lungs. Wes hadn’t left after all. He was off leading a hike somewhere or teaching knots to a group of campers, not driving off in the camps’ jeep with a little blond tramp named Courtney.
“Why didn’t you tell me that at the beginning?”
Stacie looked from side to side, apparently startled by my suddenly confrontational manner. “I thought it would be obvious. And as you are dating him, I thought you’d like to know.”
I dropped my hands in my face. “I could care less about what he did. I thought you meant Wes had left.”
“You did? Why?”
“Ugh!”
“I think I missed something. You aren’t dating Vernaun?”
“No.”
“Have you told Wes how you feel?”
I shook my head, feeling increasingly miserable.
Stacie sighed, and I could see how the knowledge weighed on her. “I think you’d better tell me exactly what’s been going on these last couple weeks.”
~ * ~
I didn’t see Wes for most of the day. A time or two, I saw him and started walking over to him only to watch him turn and retreat the other way. Puzzled, I decided not to follow and allow him space.
I finally met up with him after dinner. I was walking with Stacie to campfire when he and Zack joined us. At first Wes wouldn’t even look at me as he shuffled along with his hands in his pockets. He reminded me of a lost puppy just trying to fit in with the neighborhood dogs. Was this due to my rejection yesterday or something else?
Stacie and Zack attempted to cover the tension hovering around us with conversation, but to me nothing could dispel the twisting and tightening of my gut. I looked at the ground, trying not to look at him. Once I did glance over, but he was observing his shoes, and I quickly looked away.
At one point Stacie and Zack tried to include me and Wes in the conversation. Wes grunted, and I wasn’t paying close enough attention to even know how to respond so I remained silent.
We sat in our usual spot for campfire, and I realized I hadn’t sat here with my friends for quite a while. As the evening progressed, I thought back on some of the other campfires I’d been to over the years. They were many; some with fond memories, some faded into the fabric of my summers. I had never led a campfire – not that I’d ever wanted to – but as I sat there I wondered if I would have enjoyed it I’d tried. I didn’t particularly enjoy attention, but I wouldn’t have had all the attention as I would have shared it with another camp leader. If I had shared the spot light with Wes or Stacie, could I have enjoyed it once or twice?
The tension gradually ebbed out of my body, and I wrapped my arms around my knees and rested my chin top. A couple of the camp leaders danced around the fire, mimicking some story, a couple of the campers joined in, and everyone laughed. I sighed and looked up as Zack pulled Stacie up by the hand and they joined the others.
My back stiffened as the tension immediately returned. I didn’t glance at Wes but I could feel him a couple feet away. I knew he wasn’t looking at me, but I was certain that he was equally as aware of me. The air between us seemed to pulse with friction.
Minutes later – though it felt more like hours – Zack and Stacie returned. I relaxed a bit until Wes stood and padded off into the trees. Like a magnet whose polarity had changed, I couldn’t help but look over my shoulder and follow him with my gaze.
Stacie nudged me and jerked her head in his direction.
I shook my head fiercely.
Zack leaned forward. “You’d better go talk to him now. He’s not planning to keep contact once camp’s over?”
My breath caught in my throat. “What do you mean?”
“Just that. You haven’t talked to him all day.”
“Of course I haven’t. He’s deliberately avoided me.”
Zack shrugged. “He feels you’ve made your decision.”
My voice rose with my growing hysteria. “My decision? You mean he thinks that because I haven’t talked to him today – because he’s been avoiding me – I have chosen Vernaun and my heart is broken now because he’s gone?”
My breathing was heavy, and I didn’t notice the hush that seemed to have fallen over the campers as everyone stared in our direction. Stacie’s shifty eyes alerted me to the silence. I stood and turned to face the group, feeling everyone’s attention on me. “What? Haven’t any of you ever had your heart broken?”
Several pairs of eyes lowered. I took a deep breath and followed Wes through the trees.
Friday, February 17, 2012
Clockwork Angel - Review
This week's review is the first book in The Infernal Devices series by Cassandra Clare.
Kidnapped by the mysterious Dark Sisters, members of a secret organization called The Pandemonium Club, Tessa soon learns that she herself is a Downworlder with a rare ability: the power to transform, at will, into another person. What's more, the Magister, the shadowy figure who runs the Club, will stop at nothing to claim Tessa's power for his own.
Friendless and hunted, Tessa takes refuge with the Shadowhunters of the London Institute, who swear to find her brother if she will use her power to help them. She soon finds herself fascinated by—and torn between—two best friends: James, whose fragile beauty hides a deadly secret, and blue-eyed Will, whose caustic wit and volatile moods keep everyone in his life at arm's length...everyone, that is, but Tessa. As their search draws them deep into the heart of an arcane plot that threatens to destroy the Shadowhunters, Tessa realizes that she may need to choose between saving her brother and helping her new friends save the world...and that love may be the most dangerous magic of all.
Back Cover:
Magic is dangerous—but love is more dangerous still.
When sixteen-year-old Tessa Gray crosses the ocean to find her brother, her destination is England, the time is the reign of Queen Victoria, and something terrifying is waiting for her in London's Downworld, where vampires, warlocks and other supernatural folk stalk the gaslit streets. Only the Shadowhunters, warriors dedicated to ridding the world of demons, keep order amidst the chaos.
When sixteen-year-old Tessa Gray crosses the ocean to find her brother, her destination is England, the time is the reign of Queen Victoria, and something terrifying is waiting for her in London's Downworld, where vampires, warlocks and other supernatural folk stalk the gaslit streets. Only the Shadowhunters, warriors dedicated to ridding the world of demons, keep order amidst the chaos.
Kidnapped by the mysterious Dark Sisters, members of a secret organization called The Pandemonium Club, Tessa soon learns that she herself is a Downworlder with a rare ability: the power to transform, at will, into another person. What's more, the Magister, the shadowy figure who runs the Club, will stop at nothing to claim Tessa's power for his own.
Friendless and hunted, Tessa takes refuge with the Shadowhunters of the London Institute, who swear to find her brother if she will use her power to help them. She soon finds herself fascinated by—and torn between—two best friends: James, whose fragile beauty hides a deadly secret, and blue-eyed Will, whose caustic wit and volatile moods keep everyone in his life at arm's length...everyone, that is, but Tessa. As their search draws them deep into the heart of an arcane plot that threatens to destroy the Shadowhunters, Tessa realizes that she may need to choose between saving her brother and helping her new friends save the world...and that love may be the most dangerous magic of all.
My Take:
I found this book much more terrifying than the Mortal Instruments series. I don't know if that's because I find human robots quite frightening or what. I thought this book was a lot darker than the others. Still, I liked it. A lot! I found it interesting that that the characters were the ancestors of the the characters in the other series.
I loved Jem and I was certainly drawn to Will. I love the twists that Cassandra uses in her stories. I should be ready for them but I find myself continually surprised.
There is plenty of action in this and lots of adventure. If you liked the Mortal Instruments series, you'll probably enjoy this one as well! I am excited and eager to read the others in both these series!
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Wednesday Romance
I hope everyone had a wonderful Valentine's Day! My husband and I went to a party thing and we were a couple on a panel and had to know what answers the other would say. (Like the Newlywed show.) LOTS OF FUN!
Anyway, I hope you had a sweet day full of lots of love!
Enjoy our Wednesday Romance!
Chapter 18
By the time Wes and I made it to campfire, the leaders were winding things up. We stopped at the back and within a few minutes, the campers were ambling back to their cabins. Stacie spotted us and bounded over with a smile. Wes wasn’t holding my hand, but the wide-eyed look that Stacie gave me made me grateful for the cover of night; the blush that crept to my cheeks hopefully covered the kissing rash that surrounded my swollen lips and chin.
I had to fight the urge to avoid her gaze. After all, she didn’t know that Wes and I had spent a good share of the night entangled in each other’s arms sharing in passionate kisses. At least, I hoped she didn’t. Still, her knowing smile made me doubt.
“Where have you two been? It was quite the rousing campfire tonight.”
“Wes smuggled me some food.”
She slammed her fists on her hips with such force I was impressed she didn’t wince as she glared at him. “Why don’t you boys leave Andy alone?”
“I will not give ‘The Rat’ the opportunity to swoop in and snag her. I nearly lost her once. There is no way I’m going to do it again.”
I warm shiver ran over my spine hearing how predatory he had become.
She looked at him with a calculating gaze. “So you’re going to smother her?”
“If that’s what it takes.”
Stacie dropped her hands and looked me square in the eyes. “If it was me, I wouldn’t put up with it from either one of them.”
I shrugged, not willing to admit that as much as I hated the attention, a part of me liked that they were fighting over me.
She rolled her eyes and took hold of my arm. “Come on, Andy. It’s my turn to get your attention.” She pulled me away from Wes who stood with his hands in his pockets, smirking. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Vernaun walking in my direction, but he was suddenly surrounded by a gaggling group of female campers. I could only sigh with relief and walk with Stacie to my cabin.
The silence between us only lasted a few seconds before she began her interrogation.
“Wes said he was going looking for you. Did he only just find you?”
“No, he found me a while ago.”
“What were the two of you doing the entire time?”
“I didn’t want to go to campfire because I just needed a break.”
She nodded.
“So he took me to his cabin where I ate.”
She stopped and leveled her gaze at me. “You’ve been eating this whole time?”
I nodded, not meeting her questioning stare.
“You know that campfire was easily two hours long tonight.”
I started walking again, knowing she would follow. “I’m a slow eater.”
“You are not! What were you two doing?” She danced beside me in anticipatory excitement, and her sing-song tone of voice made me question my wisdom in enjoying her company. “Are the two of you dating?”
“No.” I hoped that didn’t come out too quick and defensive, but it probably did.
“Don’t feed me that line. Your lips are berry red. You may not be dating but you are certainly kissing buddies.”
I gasped, struggling to find something to say in my defense. But with her guessing things so well, there was little point to deny it.
“What are you doing about Vernaun?”
“What do you mean?”
“You can’t be making out with two guys at the same time. That’s just weird.”
Ugh. I did not want to discuss this complicated topic with her. “I gave Wes a week to prove to me that I love him before he disappears from my life.”
“Ooh!”
“It doesn’t really change anything, Stacie.”
“Sure it does. You have to cut Vernaun off to give Wes his week.”
I shook my head.
“Are you serious? You are going to go out with both?”
I shrugged as we stopped in front of my cabin. I thought I could see someone dart behind the next cabin, but I wasn’t sure who it was. Probably Wes.
“Andy, this is going to mess you up.”
“What do you mean?”
“You can’t go kissing Wes and then Vernaun. Sooner or later one of them is going to leave you. Maybe both. Then what will you do?”
I shrugged again.
“You’d better figure this out before it’s too late.” She shook her head and walked away.
~ * ~
That night I lay in my cot, staring up at the ceiling. My mind whirled from the discoveries I’d made in regards to my feelings for Wes. I couldn’t live without him. I didn’t want to show him my hand yet, but my heart was irrevocably tied to his.
So why did I feel such loyalty toward Vernaun. I found myself wanting to defend him. Even though I didn’t love him and I knew that if I didn’t give him up that I would lose Wes, a part of me couldn’t let him go.
For so long, Vernaun had been the guy that every girl loved. Even me, though I never admitted it even to myself. He was good looking and popular, funny and adventuresome. When he finally paid attention to me, a part of me latched onto that. I thrived on the knowledge that he found me interesting and attractive enough to be seen with; things I hadn’t realized I needed.
Perhaps I couldn’t let Vernaun go because he’s the one who helped me discover who I was. If it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t have surfed down The Pit, and I wouldn’t have dared ask about – let alone attempted – the loop. I may never have discovered how much I enjoyed doing something more than just sitting in a quiet corner.
Wes had tried to get me to do things for years, but I always refused, and he never pushed. Vernaun didn’t push or ask, he just did things, and I felt some insane desire to please him and went along with it. Was it that desire to not disappoint that kept me tied to Vernaun? I couldn’t hold on to him forever. I knew that eventually he would tire of me and I would lose him. And if I didn’t, I would lose Wes.
Still, the idea that I would have to break things off with Vernaun tore a hole in a part of my soul. Maybe it didn’t really tear the hole so much as it uncovered an existing one. The idea that I might make someone else feel the way Jason had made me feel years ago – unwanted and unloved – caused a curdling feeling in my gut. I knew that Vernaun was not the type to allow his heart to be broken, but I couldn’t shake those long ago feelings of worthlessness. I didn’t know if I could cause another human to feel that way, even in the most remote way. Then again, if I didn’t do it to Vernaun, I would be doing it to Wes and it might destroy him irrevocably.
~ * ~
I walked along the path with Vernaun. He was talking about something, but my mind was wandering. In the mail that morning I had received my class schedule for the fall semester and was formulating a list of things to do when this week was over. There would be schoolbooks to buy, groceries to buy – because guaranteed there would be nothing to eat in my little apartment. I needed to stop at Ragnor’s Finest Music and let Mr. Ragnor know my school schedule so he could give me some hours to work. I had worked during the school year for Mr. Ragnor since high school. Once I started college, he continued to allow me to work for him during the school years. I didn’t know what I would do once I actually had to get a real job.
Once this week was over, I also needed to research the upcoming department sales. My sweater supply would not be sufficient for the upcoming winter. My mom had sent me a letter earlier this summer saying that the dog had attacked and eaten a good share of the box of sweaters I had stored in my old room at home. Ugh. I hoped my budget could afford the expense.
“…Does that sound like fun?”
I mentally shook my thoughts and forced myself to listen to Vernaun. “I’m sorry, I missed that. What did you say?”
“I thought we could go to a movie tonight with a couple other people.”
My shoulders wanted to slump in disappointment. The last thing I wanted to do was go to another movie, with more people. I had hoped that by taking Vernaun on the loop that I would not only capture his attention, but inspire him to want to do more creative things. Well, I’d captured his attention, at least, but now I didn’t know if I wanted it.
I pulled myself up straight and forced my voice to be pleasant. “I appreciate the offer, but I think I’d really rather stay here tonight.”
He sighed. “I’ve already told them we’d go. Besides, there’s nothing for us to do here.”
“I’m sorry. I just don’t feel like it. You can go ahead and go.”
“I can’t go by myself.”
“Take someone with you.”
His brows creased. “Wouldn’t that make you mad?”
I shook my head.
“Hmm.” He raised his eyebrows in contemplation and gazed out over the camp.
Just then Wes appeared by my side, grabbed me around the waist and kissed me quickly on the lips before releasing me. He gave me a little shove, and we fell into step just a half pace behind Vernaun.
Vernaun turned to look at me; I prayed my face wasn’t flushed.
“Oh, hey, Wes.”
Wes offered a tight lipped smile but didn’t give him any further acknowledgement as we arrived at the mess hall for lunch.
We went through the line, none of us saying much. Wes stood behind me; I could feel his breath on my neck. I threw a glare at him over my shoulder, but he shrugged and grinned.
After making it through the line, Vernaun paused. “I’m going to run over and tell the gang the plan for tonight. I’ll be right back.”
I nodded as he took off. I knew he probably wouldn’t make it back to my side anytime soon. Fortunately, Wes gripped my arm and pulled me toward the door.
“Where are we going?”
“Somewhere quiet.”
I smiled at his aloof manner. I knew he was taking me to the hill he’d shown me a couple nights ago. The past couple days seemed to follow a similar pattern. I’d be with Vernaun, Wes would show up and steal a kiss, or pull me off to a quiet corner. I knew Wes considered it a game, to see how much he could get away with right under ‘The Wall’s’ nose. I couldn’t imagine what Vernaun thought or if he even knew – although his dating record would indicate that things of this nature were not foreign to him.
When we crested over the top of the hill, I stopped. “Will it always be like this? You pulling me away for a quiet moment?”
His eyes sparkled with delight as he wrapped me in his arms.
“People are bound to say something to him if you continue to kiss me behind his back like that. It’s not like you’re very discrete about it.”
“So break things off with him.”
I rolled my eyes.
He grinned and bent his head toward mine. His breath warmed my face as he spoke. “How many times do you lie awake at night staring at the ceiling?”
I pulled back a little in surprise. “I don’t know. Some.” There was no way I planned to tell him just how often that ‘some’ really was.
“I know what you do as you lie there awake. You are trying to justify your feelings. You are trying to rationalize your actions.” A sly and seductive smile slid across his face. He leaned forward until his lips were an inch away from my own. His voice was low and husky, full of implication. “And who dominates your dreams when you finally give in to sleep?”
I closed my eyes to block out his words, but I could still see him. The truth was that he had always been there, first as my friend and now he dominated my waking hours as well as my nights. He invaded my thoughts, he invaded my dreams, and he had invaded my heart. I only continued to carry on the charade with Vernaun because I didn’t know how to end it.
Wes’s lips moved forward until they touched mine, but he didn’t kiss me. Rather he allowed his lips to caress mine as he spoke so softly I almost didn’t hear him. “Marry me, Andy. Marry me, and I can make all your dreams a reality.”
I froze.
I didn’t know what to say.
Did he really just propose? His voice was so soft I may have imagined his words. Looking into his face, I realized that he was sincere in his request. In that moment, panic took over every nerve in my body, and I pulled out of his arms.
My head swung back and forth, as though it were a pendulum. “Please don’t ask that of me.” I backed away from him. “I can’t. I just can’t.”
Not knowing what else to do, and feeling as though he had backed me into a corner, I turned and ran. I ran down the hill and through the camp to my cabin. I bolted the door and buried myself under the covers of my cot, shaking and crying.
Anyway, I hope you had a sweet day full of lots of love!
Enjoy our Wednesday Romance!
Chapter 18
By the time Wes and I made it to campfire, the leaders were winding things up. We stopped at the back and within a few minutes, the campers were ambling back to their cabins. Stacie spotted us and bounded over with a smile. Wes wasn’t holding my hand, but the wide-eyed look that Stacie gave me made me grateful for the cover of night; the blush that crept to my cheeks hopefully covered the kissing rash that surrounded my swollen lips and chin.
I had to fight the urge to avoid her gaze. After all, she didn’t know that Wes and I had spent a good share of the night entangled in each other’s arms sharing in passionate kisses. At least, I hoped she didn’t. Still, her knowing smile made me doubt.
“Where have you two been? It was quite the rousing campfire tonight.”
“Wes smuggled me some food.”
She slammed her fists on her hips with such force I was impressed she didn’t wince as she glared at him. “Why don’t you boys leave Andy alone?”
“I will not give ‘The Rat’ the opportunity to swoop in and snag her. I nearly lost her once. There is no way I’m going to do it again.”
I warm shiver ran over my spine hearing how predatory he had become.
She looked at him with a calculating gaze. “So you’re going to smother her?”
“If that’s what it takes.”
Stacie dropped her hands and looked me square in the eyes. “If it was me, I wouldn’t put up with it from either one of them.”
I shrugged, not willing to admit that as much as I hated the attention, a part of me liked that they were fighting over me.
She rolled her eyes and took hold of my arm. “Come on, Andy. It’s my turn to get your attention.” She pulled me away from Wes who stood with his hands in his pockets, smirking. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Vernaun walking in my direction, but he was suddenly surrounded by a gaggling group of female campers. I could only sigh with relief and walk with Stacie to my cabin.
The silence between us only lasted a few seconds before she began her interrogation.
“Wes said he was going looking for you. Did he only just find you?”
“No, he found me a while ago.”
“What were the two of you doing the entire time?”
“I didn’t want to go to campfire because I just needed a break.”
She nodded.
“So he took me to his cabin where I ate.”
She stopped and leveled her gaze at me. “You’ve been eating this whole time?”
I nodded, not meeting her questioning stare.
“You know that campfire was easily two hours long tonight.”
I started walking again, knowing she would follow. “I’m a slow eater.”
“You are not! What were you two doing?” She danced beside me in anticipatory excitement, and her sing-song tone of voice made me question my wisdom in enjoying her company. “Are the two of you dating?”
“No.” I hoped that didn’t come out too quick and defensive, but it probably did.
“Don’t feed me that line. Your lips are berry red. You may not be dating but you are certainly kissing buddies.”
I gasped, struggling to find something to say in my defense. But with her guessing things so well, there was little point to deny it.
“What are you doing about Vernaun?”
“What do you mean?”
“You can’t be making out with two guys at the same time. That’s just weird.”
Ugh. I did not want to discuss this complicated topic with her. “I gave Wes a week to prove to me that I love him before he disappears from my life.”
“Ooh!”
“It doesn’t really change anything, Stacie.”
“Sure it does. You have to cut Vernaun off to give Wes his week.”
I shook my head.
“Are you serious? You are going to go out with both?”
I shrugged as we stopped in front of my cabin. I thought I could see someone dart behind the next cabin, but I wasn’t sure who it was. Probably Wes.
“Andy, this is going to mess you up.”
“What do you mean?”
“You can’t go kissing Wes and then Vernaun. Sooner or later one of them is going to leave you. Maybe both. Then what will you do?”
I shrugged again.
“You’d better figure this out before it’s too late.” She shook her head and walked away.
~ * ~
That night I lay in my cot, staring up at the ceiling. My mind whirled from the discoveries I’d made in regards to my feelings for Wes. I couldn’t live without him. I didn’t want to show him my hand yet, but my heart was irrevocably tied to his.
So why did I feel such loyalty toward Vernaun. I found myself wanting to defend him. Even though I didn’t love him and I knew that if I didn’t give him up that I would lose Wes, a part of me couldn’t let him go.
For so long, Vernaun had been the guy that every girl loved. Even me, though I never admitted it even to myself. He was good looking and popular, funny and adventuresome. When he finally paid attention to me, a part of me latched onto that. I thrived on the knowledge that he found me interesting and attractive enough to be seen with; things I hadn’t realized I needed.
Perhaps I couldn’t let Vernaun go because he’s the one who helped me discover who I was. If it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t have surfed down The Pit, and I wouldn’t have dared ask about – let alone attempted – the loop. I may never have discovered how much I enjoyed doing something more than just sitting in a quiet corner.
Wes had tried to get me to do things for years, but I always refused, and he never pushed. Vernaun didn’t push or ask, he just did things, and I felt some insane desire to please him and went along with it. Was it that desire to not disappoint that kept me tied to Vernaun? I couldn’t hold on to him forever. I knew that eventually he would tire of me and I would lose him. And if I didn’t, I would lose Wes.
Still, the idea that I would have to break things off with Vernaun tore a hole in a part of my soul. Maybe it didn’t really tear the hole so much as it uncovered an existing one. The idea that I might make someone else feel the way Jason had made me feel years ago – unwanted and unloved – caused a curdling feeling in my gut. I knew that Vernaun was not the type to allow his heart to be broken, but I couldn’t shake those long ago feelings of worthlessness. I didn’t know if I could cause another human to feel that way, even in the most remote way. Then again, if I didn’t do it to Vernaun, I would be doing it to Wes and it might destroy him irrevocably.
~ * ~
I walked along the path with Vernaun. He was talking about something, but my mind was wandering. In the mail that morning I had received my class schedule for the fall semester and was formulating a list of things to do when this week was over. There would be schoolbooks to buy, groceries to buy – because guaranteed there would be nothing to eat in my little apartment. I needed to stop at Ragnor’s Finest Music and let Mr. Ragnor know my school schedule so he could give me some hours to work. I had worked during the school year for Mr. Ragnor since high school. Once I started college, he continued to allow me to work for him during the school years. I didn’t know what I would do once I actually had to get a real job.
Once this week was over, I also needed to research the upcoming department sales. My sweater supply would not be sufficient for the upcoming winter. My mom had sent me a letter earlier this summer saying that the dog had attacked and eaten a good share of the box of sweaters I had stored in my old room at home. Ugh. I hoped my budget could afford the expense.
“…Does that sound like fun?”
I mentally shook my thoughts and forced myself to listen to Vernaun. “I’m sorry, I missed that. What did you say?”
“I thought we could go to a movie tonight with a couple other people.”
My shoulders wanted to slump in disappointment. The last thing I wanted to do was go to another movie, with more people. I had hoped that by taking Vernaun on the loop that I would not only capture his attention, but inspire him to want to do more creative things. Well, I’d captured his attention, at least, but now I didn’t know if I wanted it.
I pulled myself up straight and forced my voice to be pleasant. “I appreciate the offer, but I think I’d really rather stay here tonight.”
He sighed. “I’ve already told them we’d go. Besides, there’s nothing for us to do here.”
“I’m sorry. I just don’t feel like it. You can go ahead and go.”
“I can’t go by myself.”
“Take someone with you.”
His brows creased. “Wouldn’t that make you mad?”
I shook my head.
“Hmm.” He raised his eyebrows in contemplation and gazed out over the camp.
Just then Wes appeared by my side, grabbed me around the waist and kissed me quickly on the lips before releasing me. He gave me a little shove, and we fell into step just a half pace behind Vernaun.
Vernaun turned to look at me; I prayed my face wasn’t flushed.
“Oh, hey, Wes.”
Wes offered a tight lipped smile but didn’t give him any further acknowledgement as we arrived at the mess hall for lunch.
We went through the line, none of us saying much. Wes stood behind me; I could feel his breath on my neck. I threw a glare at him over my shoulder, but he shrugged and grinned.
After making it through the line, Vernaun paused. “I’m going to run over and tell the gang the plan for tonight. I’ll be right back.”
I nodded as he took off. I knew he probably wouldn’t make it back to my side anytime soon. Fortunately, Wes gripped my arm and pulled me toward the door.
“Where are we going?”
“Somewhere quiet.”
I smiled at his aloof manner. I knew he was taking me to the hill he’d shown me a couple nights ago. The past couple days seemed to follow a similar pattern. I’d be with Vernaun, Wes would show up and steal a kiss, or pull me off to a quiet corner. I knew Wes considered it a game, to see how much he could get away with right under ‘The Wall’s’ nose. I couldn’t imagine what Vernaun thought or if he even knew – although his dating record would indicate that things of this nature were not foreign to him.
When we crested over the top of the hill, I stopped. “Will it always be like this? You pulling me away for a quiet moment?”
His eyes sparkled with delight as he wrapped me in his arms.
“People are bound to say something to him if you continue to kiss me behind his back like that. It’s not like you’re very discrete about it.”
“So break things off with him.”
I rolled my eyes.
He grinned and bent his head toward mine. His breath warmed my face as he spoke. “How many times do you lie awake at night staring at the ceiling?”
I pulled back a little in surprise. “I don’t know. Some.” There was no way I planned to tell him just how often that ‘some’ really was.
“I know what you do as you lie there awake. You are trying to justify your feelings. You are trying to rationalize your actions.” A sly and seductive smile slid across his face. He leaned forward until his lips were an inch away from my own. His voice was low and husky, full of implication. “And who dominates your dreams when you finally give in to sleep?”
I closed my eyes to block out his words, but I could still see him. The truth was that he had always been there, first as my friend and now he dominated my waking hours as well as my nights. He invaded my thoughts, he invaded my dreams, and he had invaded my heart. I only continued to carry on the charade with Vernaun because I didn’t know how to end it.
Wes’s lips moved forward until they touched mine, but he didn’t kiss me. Rather he allowed his lips to caress mine as he spoke so softly I almost didn’t hear him. “Marry me, Andy. Marry me, and I can make all your dreams a reality.”
I froze.
I didn’t know what to say.
Did he really just propose? His voice was so soft I may have imagined his words. Looking into his face, I realized that he was sincere in his request. In that moment, panic took over every nerve in my body, and I pulled out of his arms.
My head swung back and forth, as though it were a pendulum. “Please don’t ask that of me.” I backed away from him. “I can’t. I just can’t.”
Not knowing what else to do, and feeling as though he had backed me into a corner, I turned and ran. I ran down the hill and through the camp to my cabin. I bolted the door and buried myself under the covers of my cot, shaking and crying.
Friday, February 10, 2012
City of Glass - Review
This week's review is the third book in the Mortal Instrument's series City of Glass by Cassandra Clare.
Back Cover:
To save her mother's life, Clary must travel to the City of Glass, the ancestral home of the Shadowhunters — never mind that entering the city without permission is against the Law, and breaking the Law could mean death. To make things worse, she learns that Jace does not want her there, and her best friend, Simon, has been thrown in prison by the Shadowhunters, who are deeply suspicious of a vampire who can withstand sunlight.
As Clary uncovers more about her family's past, she finds an ally in mysterious Shadowhunter Sebastian. With Valentine mustering the full force of his power to destroy all Shadowhunters forever, their only chance to defeat him is to fight alongside their eternal enemies. But can Downworlders and Shadowhunters put aside their hatred to work together? While Jace realizes exactly how much he's willing to risk for Clary, can she harness her newfound powers to help save the Glass City — whatever the cost?
Love is a mortal sin and the secrets of the past prove deadly as Clary and Jace face down Valentine in the final installment of the New York Times bestselling The Mortal Instruments.
My Take:
This was my favorite of the three books!!! These are DEFINITELY best read all three together. There are three more after this (not all of them are out yet) but at least this third book is a good stopping spot.
This book takes you to the capital of the Shadowhunter's world. A fascinating adventure! Clary has become more confident and sure of her Shadowhunter's abilities. She has become a very dominant heroine yet still quite vulnerable. Of course she has Simon and Jace to look after her and they are just so yummy!!
Definitely a fun read! I'd recommend them! This one has a couple foul words in it, but for the most part is pretty clean. Either way, I LOVED this series!!
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Wednesday Romance
Chapter 17
I didn’t have to ask where. I knew what Wes meant. “If we went out, it would ruin our friendship.”
“I don’t think we can ever go back to the way things used to be.”
I turned to him, not realizing how close he stood. My breath caught.
He brushed a strand of hair out of my face. “I love you, Andy. I always have.”
“Wes….”
“Every time you’re with him, it tears me apart. Every time I hear you utter his name, I want to beat him until he can’t breath.” He stepped closer and looked down at me. “I can’t live like this, Andy. I need to know how you feel.”
My breathing came in short gasps. I tried to step back but Wes’ arm shot around my waist.
“Don’t run away from me. Not yet.”
“Wes,” I breathed, “I don’t know. You’re my best friend. But I don’t know what I feel beyond that.”
I could see the questions flitting over his eyes, but he didn’t say anything. Instead he bent his head toward mine and captured my lips with his. His kiss was hot and intense but not demanding. The heat weakened my knees as I melted against him. Even though I had already admitted it to him, I felt like I needed to prove to him that I did enjoy being held in his arms. I moved my arms behind his neck and wove my fingers through his hair, deepening our exchange.
He seemed to understand what I was doing and pulled our lips apart, though he did not move further than about an inch. His voice was husky with desire as he spoke. “You can’t tell me that you don’t like kissing me. I know you do.”
Tears threatened to fill my eyes, and I tried to blink them quickly away. “I do, but I don’t know if I can just give up what we’ve always had.”
“A week. Give me a week to prove to you that you love me.”
“What happens after that?”
“If you decide you don’t feel the same about me, I will disappear and you’ll never see me again.”
I reached out to grab his arm and leaned back. “That’s hardly fair.”
He pressed his lips to mine in a quick kiss. “Andy, I don’t want to pressure you into this. If you don’t love me, I’m not going to hate you for it. But I will have to leave in order to forget how I feel about you.”
Despair, rimmed with passion, filled my chest as his head once more descended to meet mine. Warmth filled my body as he pressed me against him, allowing me a more intimate knowledge of his masculine form. The part of me that enjoyed these exchanges longed to remain locked in his arms forever – sheltered from the heartache of life.
I wasn’t sure that I was actually in love with him, but I also didn’t know if I would be able to survive if I never saw him again. I considered lying to him in order to keep him near me. But I knew that wouldn’t be fair to him. The next time I dated someone else, we would find ourselves in the exact same situation.
I sighed as he pulled away. I had a week to do some serious thinking and soul searching.
“Come on.” He grabbed my hand in his. “I think we can make it to my cabin and grab a bite to eat without being seen. I think it’s late enough that everyone will be at campfire by now.”
“You got me food?”
I turned back and smiled. “Of course.”
At that moment, I can honestly say that I have never seen Wes look so handsome. Something about the way he looked at me and smiled– the way I’ve seen my dad smile at my mom – I knew that he was deeply in love with me.
Everything around me seemed to slow down. All I could see was Wes gazing at me as though he would willingly fall at my feet if I asked. My heart slowed and thudded with deafening loudness. Had he always looked at me this way?
Yes.
How did I miss it? All this time, I had been so blind, and now, when it mattered most, I didn’t have an answer for him.
A hollow ache spread throughout my entire body. My heart landed with finality in pit of my stomach, and I stopped. I suddenly realized that I had loved him for years. My fondness for him may have started out as friendship, but at some point my feelings for him had deepened. No wonder I never dated anyone for long. No wonder I enjoyed staying in my booth, because Wes was one of two people who came to see me. I had come to value my time with him. I thrived on our conversations, our jokes, and the time I got to hang out with him.
“Are you okay?”
I startled out of my revelation and shook my head. Warmth and joy flooded my body. I gripped his hand in order to remain upright. “I’m fine.”
We continued on our way, skirting the outside of the campground, but I couldn’t look at him. Not yet. I still had some things to discover within myself. And I still couldn’t justify my affections for Vernaun. There was also a part of me that really wanted to know how Wes was planning to help me realize my love for him.
A smiled danced across my face. I couldn’t wait to see what he came up with.
~ * ~
The hot turkey sandwich Wes had saved for me was no longer warm, but it still tasted fine. At least it was food and edible. I hadn’t realized how hungry I was until I took a bite of the sandwich and my stomach groaned in appreciation.
Wes was stealing chips, and I hit his hand. “Those are mine.”
I had thought he would use this time to try and prove to me that he loved me – you know, do something romantic. But no. He was still the same old Wes. He just smiled and stole another chip.
I bit the insides of my cheeks to keep from smiling at his behavior. In a strange way he reminded me of my little niece, trying to see exactly what he could get away with.
“Do you want to go to campfire or do something else?”
Ugh. One side of my lip lifted in a sneer as though someone had pulled it with an invisible string. The idea of being surrounded by people again so soon after my escape made me feel tired.
Wes laughed. “I have something we can do. Finish up and I’ll show you.”
A few minutes later, he took my hand in his and led me up the hill behind his cabin. The sliver of the moon offered little light, but I knew Wes wouldn’t let me fall or become lost.
“If I ask, will you tell me where we’re going?”
I didn’t have to see him to know he was smiling. “Up the hill.”
I rolled my eyes.
The hill was not large and, as my eyes became accustomed to the dark, I discovered that there wasn’t even much to see. No trees grew on the top of the hill, but plenty grew around it. There was no whispering meadow or babbling brook, nothing that would let me think that this was a special place to come for anything; unless, of course, one was looking for solitude. Laughter floated through the air. A glimmer of the glowing campfire could be seen through the darkness of the trees.
I looked to Wes for answers. He chuckled and lay back in the grass.
Not knowing what else to do, I joined him. Looking up, I realized this was the perfect place to look at stars. They winked and danced without interruption from the trees. I inhaled and sighed in contentment. “We’ve been working here for years now, and you’ve always had the same cabin. Why have you never showed me this before?”
The grass rustled as he shifted his weight. “If I’d asked you before, there was nothing preventing Stacie from joining us. And this is something I wanted to share with only you.”
Warmth filled my chest, and I resisted the urge to reach for his hand.
“So you don’t bring girls here on a regular basis?”
Silence answered me. When he finally spoke, his voice was a low growl. “I hope you don’t credit me with such low morals.”
“I was only teasing, Wes. You know full well that Vernaun hasn’t taken me on a single date that was original.”
“I can’t believe you are going to try to compare me to him.”
I sat up and looked at him, though I could see little more than his outline. “I’m not. It is no secret that you’ve had summer flings in the past. How was I to know what you’d done with those girls?”
He sat up, and I could see the whites of his eyes staring me down. “Nothing. Those never lasted beyond a couple of days. And usually I spent the time avoiding their advances. Those were the times I usually spent in the booth.”
I nodded once. “Right. Because I was invisible.”
He groaned. “Andy, you are so…. Aargh! Why do you do this?”
“I did nothing. I was simply teasing. You are the one who turned it into some sort of competition with Vernaun. I just –”
I was cut off by his lips crushing mine with a mad, desperate passion. His hands were on my shoulders pulling me closer. I toppled forward, sending both of us sprawling. Our lips parted and he chuckled. “I think we are going to have to work on this relationship thing.”
The top part of my body covered the top part of his. Looking down into his face, I struggled to see anything clearly. “What are you talking about?”
“We are so used to being friends that we may have to work a little at how to handle each other on a more intimate level.”
I opened my mouth to argue, but he cut me off.
“I know we aren’t dating, but I’m tired of fighting with you about everything. Perhaps we need to communicate just a little better or we will end up as enemies rather than lovers.”
My jaw dropped open. “We are not lovers.”
He wiggled his brows, his eyes danced with merriment. “But wouldn’t you like to be?”
I rolled over. “You are suddenly overly flirtatious, and impossible.”
He rolled on top of me. “And you love it.” He smothered my giggle with a heated kiss. I wrapped my arms around him, the air shimmering around me like a fairy tale.
The stars had shifted their positions in the sky when we finally fell contentedly apart. He held me, my head resting on his shoulder, and we gazed at the stars. “It could be like this all the time, you know. It could be so much more than this.”
“How am I supposed to do that? You’ve already put me in a difficult situation. Vernaun is –”
“Don’t mention his name. It will only kill the mood.”
“What am I supposed to call him?”
“How about you just not talk about him?”
I pressed my lips into a thin line, determined not to argue with him again.
“You promised me a week.”
“But I didn’t say I would give him up while you proved to me that I loved you.”
It was his turn to be silent.
“I realize that neither of us offered any stipulations on our agreement, but I can’t just drop him cold turkey. I know you want me to, but I just can’t. I will give you sufficient time to woo and cajole, but I can’t give you all my time.”
He pulled me closer and placed the kiss he placed in my hair. “As long as I get some of your time, I’ll be happy.”
I didn’t have to ask where. I knew what Wes meant. “If we went out, it would ruin our friendship.”
“I don’t think we can ever go back to the way things used to be.”
I turned to him, not realizing how close he stood. My breath caught.
He brushed a strand of hair out of my face. “I love you, Andy. I always have.”
“Wes….”
“Every time you’re with him, it tears me apart. Every time I hear you utter his name, I want to beat him until he can’t breath.” He stepped closer and looked down at me. “I can’t live like this, Andy. I need to know how you feel.”
My breathing came in short gasps. I tried to step back but Wes’ arm shot around my waist.
“Don’t run away from me. Not yet.”
“Wes,” I breathed, “I don’t know. You’re my best friend. But I don’t know what I feel beyond that.”
I could see the questions flitting over his eyes, but he didn’t say anything. Instead he bent his head toward mine and captured my lips with his. His kiss was hot and intense but not demanding. The heat weakened my knees as I melted against him. Even though I had already admitted it to him, I felt like I needed to prove to him that I did enjoy being held in his arms. I moved my arms behind his neck and wove my fingers through his hair, deepening our exchange.
He seemed to understand what I was doing and pulled our lips apart, though he did not move further than about an inch. His voice was husky with desire as he spoke. “You can’t tell me that you don’t like kissing me. I know you do.”
Tears threatened to fill my eyes, and I tried to blink them quickly away. “I do, but I don’t know if I can just give up what we’ve always had.”
“A week. Give me a week to prove to you that you love me.”
“What happens after that?”
“If you decide you don’t feel the same about me, I will disappear and you’ll never see me again.”
I reached out to grab his arm and leaned back. “That’s hardly fair.”
He pressed his lips to mine in a quick kiss. “Andy, I don’t want to pressure you into this. If you don’t love me, I’m not going to hate you for it. But I will have to leave in order to forget how I feel about you.”
Despair, rimmed with passion, filled my chest as his head once more descended to meet mine. Warmth filled my body as he pressed me against him, allowing me a more intimate knowledge of his masculine form. The part of me that enjoyed these exchanges longed to remain locked in his arms forever – sheltered from the heartache of life.
I wasn’t sure that I was actually in love with him, but I also didn’t know if I would be able to survive if I never saw him again. I considered lying to him in order to keep him near me. But I knew that wouldn’t be fair to him. The next time I dated someone else, we would find ourselves in the exact same situation.
I sighed as he pulled away. I had a week to do some serious thinking and soul searching.
“Come on.” He grabbed my hand in his. “I think we can make it to my cabin and grab a bite to eat without being seen. I think it’s late enough that everyone will be at campfire by now.”
“You got me food?”
I turned back and smiled. “Of course.”
At that moment, I can honestly say that I have never seen Wes look so handsome. Something about the way he looked at me and smiled– the way I’ve seen my dad smile at my mom – I knew that he was deeply in love with me.
Everything around me seemed to slow down. All I could see was Wes gazing at me as though he would willingly fall at my feet if I asked. My heart slowed and thudded with deafening loudness. Had he always looked at me this way?
Yes.
How did I miss it? All this time, I had been so blind, and now, when it mattered most, I didn’t have an answer for him.
A hollow ache spread throughout my entire body. My heart landed with finality in pit of my stomach, and I stopped. I suddenly realized that I had loved him for years. My fondness for him may have started out as friendship, but at some point my feelings for him had deepened. No wonder I never dated anyone for long. No wonder I enjoyed staying in my booth, because Wes was one of two people who came to see me. I had come to value my time with him. I thrived on our conversations, our jokes, and the time I got to hang out with him.
“Are you okay?”
I startled out of my revelation and shook my head. Warmth and joy flooded my body. I gripped his hand in order to remain upright. “I’m fine.”
We continued on our way, skirting the outside of the campground, but I couldn’t look at him. Not yet. I still had some things to discover within myself. And I still couldn’t justify my affections for Vernaun. There was also a part of me that really wanted to know how Wes was planning to help me realize my love for him.
A smiled danced across my face. I couldn’t wait to see what he came up with.
~ * ~
The hot turkey sandwich Wes had saved for me was no longer warm, but it still tasted fine. At least it was food and edible. I hadn’t realized how hungry I was until I took a bite of the sandwich and my stomach groaned in appreciation.
Wes was stealing chips, and I hit his hand. “Those are mine.”
I had thought he would use this time to try and prove to me that he loved me – you know, do something romantic. But no. He was still the same old Wes. He just smiled and stole another chip.
I bit the insides of my cheeks to keep from smiling at his behavior. In a strange way he reminded me of my little niece, trying to see exactly what he could get away with.
“Do you want to go to campfire or do something else?”
Ugh. One side of my lip lifted in a sneer as though someone had pulled it with an invisible string. The idea of being surrounded by people again so soon after my escape made me feel tired.
Wes laughed. “I have something we can do. Finish up and I’ll show you.”
A few minutes later, he took my hand in his and led me up the hill behind his cabin. The sliver of the moon offered little light, but I knew Wes wouldn’t let me fall or become lost.
“If I ask, will you tell me where we’re going?”
I didn’t have to see him to know he was smiling. “Up the hill.”
I rolled my eyes.
The hill was not large and, as my eyes became accustomed to the dark, I discovered that there wasn’t even much to see. No trees grew on the top of the hill, but plenty grew around it. There was no whispering meadow or babbling brook, nothing that would let me think that this was a special place to come for anything; unless, of course, one was looking for solitude. Laughter floated through the air. A glimmer of the glowing campfire could be seen through the darkness of the trees.
I looked to Wes for answers. He chuckled and lay back in the grass.
Not knowing what else to do, I joined him. Looking up, I realized this was the perfect place to look at stars. They winked and danced without interruption from the trees. I inhaled and sighed in contentment. “We’ve been working here for years now, and you’ve always had the same cabin. Why have you never showed me this before?”
The grass rustled as he shifted his weight. “If I’d asked you before, there was nothing preventing Stacie from joining us. And this is something I wanted to share with only you.”
Warmth filled my chest, and I resisted the urge to reach for his hand.
“So you don’t bring girls here on a regular basis?”
Silence answered me. When he finally spoke, his voice was a low growl. “I hope you don’t credit me with such low morals.”
“I was only teasing, Wes. You know full well that Vernaun hasn’t taken me on a single date that was original.”
“I can’t believe you are going to try to compare me to him.”
I sat up and looked at him, though I could see little more than his outline. “I’m not. It is no secret that you’ve had summer flings in the past. How was I to know what you’d done with those girls?”
He sat up, and I could see the whites of his eyes staring me down. “Nothing. Those never lasted beyond a couple of days. And usually I spent the time avoiding their advances. Those were the times I usually spent in the booth.”
I nodded once. “Right. Because I was invisible.”
He groaned. “Andy, you are so…. Aargh! Why do you do this?”
“I did nothing. I was simply teasing. You are the one who turned it into some sort of competition with Vernaun. I just –”
I was cut off by his lips crushing mine with a mad, desperate passion. His hands were on my shoulders pulling me closer. I toppled forward, sending both of us sprawling. Our lips parted and he chuckled. “I think we are going to have to work on this relationship thing.”
The top part of my body covered the top part of his. Looking down into his face, I struggled to see anything clearly. “What are you talking about?”
“We are so used to being friends that we may have to work a little at how to handle each other on a more intimate level.”
I opened my mouth to argue, but he cut me off.
“I know we aren’t dating, but I’m tired of fighting with you about everything. Perhaps we need to communicate just a little better or we will end up as enemies rather than lovers.”
My jaw dropped open. “We are not lovers.”
He wiggled his brows, his eyes danced with merriment. “But wouldn’t you like to be?”
I rolled over. “You are suddenly overly flirtatious, and impossible.”
He rolled on top of me. “And you love it.” He smothered my giggle with a heated kiss. I wrapped my arms around him, the air shimmering around me like a fairy tale.
The stars had shifted their positions in the sky when we finally fell contentedly apart. He held me, my head resting on his shoulder, and we gazed at the stars. “It could be like this all the time, you know. It could be so much more than this.”
“How am I supposed to do that? You’ve already put me in a difficult situation. Vernaun is –”
“Don’t mention his name. It will only kill the mood.”
“What am I supposed to call him?”
“How about you just not talk about him?”
I pressed my lips into a thin line, determined not to argue with him again.
“You promised me a week.”
“But I didn’t say I would give him up while you proved to me that I loved you.”
It was his turn to be silent.
“I realize that neither of us offered any stipulations on our agreement, but I can’t just drop him cold turkey. I know you want me to, but I just can’t. I will give you sufficient time to woo and cajole, but I can’t give you all my time.”
He pulled me closer and placed the kiss he placed in my hair. “As long as I get some of your time, I’ll be happy.”
Friday, February 3, 2012
City of Ashes - Revies
Today's review is the second book in the Mortal Instruments series, City of Ashes by Cassandra Clare. 
Back cover:
Clary Fray just wishes that her life would go back to normal. But what's normal when you're a demon-slaying Shadowhunter, your mother is in a magically induced coma, and you can suddenly see Downworlders like werewolves, vampires, and faeries? If Clary left the world of the Shadowhunters behind, it would mean more time with her best friend, Simon, who's becoming more than a friend. But the Shadowhunting world isn't ready to let her go — especially her handsome, infuriating, newfound brother, Jace. And Clary's only chance to help her mother is to track down rogue Shadowhunter Valentine, who is probably insane, certainly evil — and also her father.
To complicate matters, someone in New York City is murdering Downworlder children. Is Valentine behind the killings — and if he is, what is he trying to do? When the second of the Mortal Instruments, the Soul-Sword, is stolen, the terrifying Inquisitor arrives to investigate and zooms right in on Jace. How can Clary stop Valentine if Jace is willing to betray everything he believes in to help their father?
In this breathtaking sequel to City of Bones, Cassandra Clare lures her readers back into the dark grip of New York City's Downworld, where love is never safe and power becomes the deadliest temptation.
My Take:
Okay, I liked this book, but the romantic friction and tension was VERY frustrating! Ach!!
This was a classic second book that ties the first and third ones together well. However, unlike second books, this book was very essential in the trio. The first book focuses on finding the first mortal instrument. In this one we learn about the second. This book demonstrates how a series should build one on top of another and the end left me LONGING for the third one.
I loved how this book carried me to other worlds within our own and kept me enthralled throughout! The twists were, of course, unexpected and fun! Who would have thought...?
If you liked the first one, you'll like this one as well!
Happy reading!
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